Getting Around
Augsburg is not a big city, but the suburbs are far enough away and spread out enough that you need to use public transportation to get around. Hmmm.... I hate trying to figure out public transportation in a new place. There should be a universal way of doing it.
Augsburg's public transportation is a little bit confusing. To get from JS's apartment to the center of town and the main train station, you need to take bus #41 in the direction of Koenigsplatz. Fair enough. The thing is, not every bus stop has a machine that sells tickets. Augsburg is also made up of a number of zones, and how much the ticket costs depends on how many zones you're travelling.
Yesterday, I was at a stop that had no machine, and I didn't know how many zones it was to get to the Koenigsplatz, which is the stop next to the train station (I was going to the train station to travel outside the city to meet CS, a friend of a friend who helped me find housing here before I arrived). So I was forced to ask the bus driver. Luckily he was nice, and he told me exactly how much each zone costs, and how many zones it was to get to where I was going (2 zones at 1.05 per zone, total is 2.10). He then told me to just put the coins in the slots in the machine next to him and he'd give me a ticket. So far so good. I understood him perfectly clearly and he had been very helpful, so I was feeling pretty good about the bus.
Fast forward to today. I had to come back from the Uni, where I had spent the day taking care of administrative things. This mainly involved registration as a student at the University -- I was actually almost able to accomplish this completely due to the nice lady at the registration office who helped me fill out my form; I just needed a few additional documents (involving health insurance and proof of payment of fees) that I was able to get today, so I can bring the whole thing back to her tomorrow and wrap up the entire process. Registering is very important because you need to register to get a student ID card, which serves as nothing less than the holy grail of German university life. You can use it to get discounts on everything. The fees you pay to get it include the purchase of a Semester-Ticket, which basically lets you use your student ID to RIDE ALL PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION IN TOWN FOR FREE. After reading the rest of this post, it will be clear how important this will be to the enjoyment of the rest of my time in Augsburg.
While I was at the Uni today, I also had lunch in the Mensa (student cafeteria) with SR and her friends. SR showed me how to get a Mensa card, which you need to buy food there. The food is good and quite cheap -- I was surprised about the former, but not the latter. By the way, SR has been incredibly helpful, showing me how everything works, etc.
So after lunch I walked around the Uni area a bit, and then I decided to come back home and take a nap. I got on the bus to come back, and I knew it was only one zone from the Uni to where JS's apartment is, so I had my 1.05 ready. When I got on the bus I put the coins in the slots on the machine next to the driver, just as I had done the day before. The driver (a fat man with a red face, ugly blond hair, and a scraggly beard) looked at me in disgust, and said something completely incomprehensible. I assumed he was talking to me in the Bayern dialect because I had no idea what he said. I told him I had just arrived in town recently and didn't understand him. Here's how the rest of the conversation went (roughly translated):
Him: "Why did you just throw those coins in the slots like that?"
Me: "Excuse me? I thought that's what I was supposed to do."
Him (condescendingly, as if talking to a 5-year-old): "No. Why would you think that? You have to lay them on top of the thing, then I can see how much you're paying, then put them in. How am I supposed to know how much you pay if you just put them in the slots without me seeing what they are?!"
Me: "But the bus driver I talked to yesterday told me to just put the coins in the slots, he didn't say anything about leaving them on top. I'm sorry I did it wrong."
Him (very mad now): "One of my colleagues never would have told you to do something like that. So how much did you pay anyway?"
Me: "I promise he did say that. I paid 1 Euro 5."
Him (somewhat beaten, probably because I'd gotten the ticket amount right): "Okay." He then handed me the ticket.
I thanked him as graciously as I could, sweating profusely and red to the roots of my hair. I was sure everyone on the bus could hear our conversation and thought I was a total idiot. He did say "you're welcome" but I don't think he really meant it. I then stamped the ticket (which I also learned from the nice bus driver yesterday you're supposed to do), and sat down near an elderly couple who were doing their best not to look at me.
Ugh. I felt completely humiliated. Up until that point I'd been having a pretty good day, and this complete a**hole totally ruined it for me. I spent the short ride and walk home wishing I could spend 5 minutes in a room alone with him (so that I wouldn't embarrass him in front of everyone, too bad he didn't pay me the same courtesy). Here's what I'd say:
"You know, for those of us who are brave enough to travel to another country and to try to get around speaking a foreign langauge, it's hard enough to figure things out without being totally yelled at and humiliated for something as small is putting the coins in the slots on the bus by mistake. I hope you come to America sometime, buddy. I hope you come there and experience the American version of customer service and politeness. I hope that you realize that even though you probably don't speak a word of English, people will go out of their way to be nice to you and help you figure things out, and no one will EVER talk to you the way you just talked to me. Of course you will never do that because you undoubtedly will never be brave enough to leave your sad little life driving a bus here in Augsburg to travel as far as America. So go home to your fat wife and your obnoxious kids and enjoy eating your sausages and drinking your beer. Go ahead and have a good laugh at my expense -- the dumb lady who couldn't figure out how to pay on the bus. When you're done lauging, think about what you did, and consider how the other person might feel before you start yelling at them."
So, kids, here's an important lesson if you ever ride a public bus in Augsburg, and you can't buy a ticket before you get on: PUT THE FREAKING COINS ON TOP OF THE THING AND NOT DIRECTLY IN THE SLOTS. In fact, I will never drop coins directly in slots on a bus ever again in my whole life. It may be this way throughout Germany as far as I know. And if you ever see a fat, ugly, red-faced German man, wandering alone and confused through your neighborhood, he will undoubtedly need your help. Curse him silently, then treat him with kindness. Thank you.
Augsburg's public transportation is a little bit confusing. To get from JS's apartment to the center of town and the main train station, you need to take bus #41 in the direction of Koenigsplatz. Fair enough. The thing is, not every bus stop has a machine that sells tickets. Augsburg is also made up of a number of zones, and how much the ticket costs depends on how many zones you're travelling.
Yesterday, I was at a stop that had no machine, and I didn't know how many zones it was to get to the Koenigsplatz, which is the stop next to the train station (I was going to the train station to travel outside the city to meet CS, a friend of a friend who helped me find housing here before I arrived). So I was forced to ask the bus driver. Luckily he was nice, and he told me exactly how much each zone costs, and how many zones it was to get to where I was going (2 zones at 1.05 per zone, total is 2.10). He then told me to just put the coins in the slots in the machine next to him and he'd give me a ticket. So far so good. I understood him perfectly clearly and he had been very helpful, so I was feeling pretty good about the bus.
Fast forward to today. I had to come back from the Uni, where I had spent the day taking care of administrative things. This mainly involved registration as a student at the University -- I was actually almost able to accomplish this completely due to the nice lady at the registration office who helped me fill out my form; I just needed a few additional documents (involving health insurance and proof of payment of fees) that I was able to get today, so I can bring the whole thing back to her tomorrow and wrap up the entire process. Registering is very important because you need to register to get a student ID card, which serves as nothing less than the holy grail of German university life. You can use it to get discounts on everything. The fees you pay to get it include the purchase of a Semester-Ticket, which basically lets you use your student ID to RIDE ALL PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION IN TOWN FOR FREE. After reading the rest of this post, it will be clear how important this will be to the enjoyment of the rest of my time in Augsburg.
While I was at the Uni today, I also had lunch in the Mensa (student cafeteria) with SR and her friends. SR showed me how to get a Mensa card, which you need to buy food there. The food is good and quite cheap -- I was surprised about the former, but not the latter. By the way, SR has been incredibly helpful, showing me how everything works, etc.
So after lunch I walked around the Uni area a bit, and then I decided to come back home and take a nap. I got on the bus to come back, and I knew it was only one zone from the Uni to where JS's apartment is, so I had my 1.05 ready. When I got on the bus I put the coins in the slots on the machine next to the driver, just as I had done the day before. The driver (a fat man with a red face, ugly blond hair, and a scraggly beard) looked at me in disgust, and said something completely incomprehensible. I assumed he was talking to me in the Bayern dialect because I had no idea what he said. I told him I had just arrived in town recently and didn't understand him. Here's how the rest of the conversation went (roughly translated):
Him: "Why did you just throw those coins in the slots like that?"
Me: "Excuse me? I thought that's what I was supposed to do."
Him (condescendingly, as if talking to a 5-year-old): "No. Why would you think that? You have to lay them on top of the thing, then I can see how much you're paying, then put them in. How am I supposed to know how much you pay if you just put them in the slots without me seeing what they are?!"
Me: "But the bus driver I talked to yesterday told me to just put the coins in the slots, he didn't say anything about leaving them on top. I'm sorry I did it wrong."
Him (very mad now): "One of my colleagues never would have told you to do something like that. So how much did you pay anyway?"
Me: "I promise he did say that. I paid 1 Euro 5."
Him (somewhat beaten, probably because I'd gotten the ticket amount right): "Okay." He then handed me the ticket.
I thanked him as graciously as I could, sweating profusely and red to the roots of my hair. I was sure everyone on the bus could hear our conversation and thought I was a total idiot. He did say "you're welcome" but I don't think he really meant it. I then stamped the ticket (which I also learned from the nice bus driver yesterday you're supposed to do), and sat down near an elderly couple who were doing their best not to look at me.
Ugh. I felt completely humiliated. Up until that point I'd been having a pretty good day, and this complete a**hole totally ruined it for me. I spent the short ride and walk home wishing I could spend 5 minutes in a room alone with him (so that I wouldn't embarrass him in front of everyone, too bad he didn't pay me the same courtesy). Here's what I'd say:
"You know, for those of us who are brave enough to travel to another country and to try to get around speaking a foreign langauge, it's hard enough to figure things out without being totally yelled at and humiliated for something as small is putting the coins in the slots on the bus by mistake. I hope you come to America sometime, buddy. I hope you come there and experience the American version of customer service and politeness. I hope that you realize that even though you probably don't speak a word of English, people will go out of their way to be nice to you and help you figure things out, and no one will EVER talk to you the way you just talked to me. Of course you will never do that because you undoubtedly will never be brave enough to leave your sad little life driving a bus here in Augsburg to travel as far as America. So go home to your fat wife and your obnoxious kids and enjoy eating your sausages and drinking your beer. Go ahead and have a good laugh at my expense -- the dumb lady who couldn't figure out how to pay on the bus. When you're done lauging, think about what you did, and consider how the other person might feel before you start yelling at them."
So, kids, here's an important lesson if you ever ride a public bus in Augsburg, and you can't buy a ticket before you get on: PUT THE FREAKING COINS ON TOP OF THE THING AND NOT DIRECTLY IN THE SLOTS. In fact, I will never drop coins directly in slots on a bus ever again in my whole life. It may be this way throughout Germany as far as I know. And if you ever see a fat, ugly, red-faced German man, wandering alone and confused through your neighborhood, he will undoubtedly need your help. Curse him silently, then treat him with kindness. Thank you.
posted by Jennifer at 05:27
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